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But isn’t there some middle ground between being a douche and being a dud? Do you feel like the part of you that loves stories is fulfilled?

The rate of interracial marriage in the United States is only about 5%–10%. The team set up a speed-dating event at a restaurant in New York near Columbia University, where students were recruited for the study. “We found a general trend supporting the idea that people like to maintain boring equilibrium at all costs,” writes Ariely in a recent Ask Men article.“When people are free to choose what type of discussions they want to have, they often gravitate toward an equilibrium that is easy to maintain but one that no one really enjoys or benefits from.” Ariely is referring to a recent study of online daters in which he observed trends in the subject matter of messages on dating sites (which he generally found to be BOOOORING).But the motivations behind the choices a person makes tell a more interesting story than the facts alone. ” is more likely to yield a thoughtful response than “Did you come here for college?” Of course, their answer might simply be “I came here for college.” Don’t get stuck.